I DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH EMOTIONAL TERRORISTS

It has always been my dream to write a book but with a husband and four children,

it's been very hard to sit and read a book, no less write one.  

Now that my kids are getting older I've been working much harder on the book

in the last year or so but then a few physical issues have slowed my progress down.

Also, when your children get older, it doesn't mean they need you less, it just means

they need you in different ways. When my husband, Randy and I decided 23+ years

ago that I would stay home with our children, I took that job very seriously and

definitely went into it with all my heart and soul.  When they need me, I am there

for them, period!

I believe in part, that I am this kind of mother because of the way I was raised.

This is what my book will be about, and what I want this Blog to be about. My hope

and prayer is that by writing my story I will be able to help someone else get through

the pain of being raised by an abusive mother and a father that sat by and did

nothing while it all happened.

It took me a very, very long time to become a healthy, strong woman because of all

the abuse I endured as a child, young adult and adult.  My mother was never

diagnosed with any kind of mental illness or personality disorder because she would

never, ever have admitted that there was a problem but as an adult I've done a lot

of research on what I endured and I've come up with my own possible "diagnosis"

for her.  She seems to have fit Borderline Personality Disorder very nicely but,

a few years ago my daughter was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder so this became

a strong possibility. What I do know for sure is that she was a narcissist.

I was extremely blessed when I met my husband who was very patient with me

through all the years of craziness with my family.  My mother didn't want me

dating, didn't want me doing anything that didn't involve her in some way

(this was through my entire life).  She made it very difficult for me to see

Randy. I stayed strong because I knew, from almost the first time I met him,

that he was the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

Her abuse toward me increased the more she realized she was losing me to him.

The saddest part is that she never had to lose me, all she had to do was to open

her arms and her family would have just gotten bigger.  Instead her mental,

emotional and verbal abuse toward me just got worse and worse. It was to the

point that I was becoming physically ill.

There were so many times I told Randy to just go away and save himself.

He is such an amazing man, he didn't deserve to be part of the insanity he was

being pulled into just because he loved me.  But, he never wavered, he stayed

by me through it all! I have to admit, a couple of times I thought he must be nuts.

Eventually, my mother forced me to choose between my family and Randy.  I

didn't want to make this choice, I just wanted one big happy family, that's all I

ever wanted. My choice was Randy because first of all, he never asked or made

me choose. Secondly, he never, ever hurt me and all she ever did was hurt me.

Choosing him meant that I lost not only my mother but my entire family because

she had turned everyone against me.

I have never regretted my decision.