Once my mother thought that she couldn’t control me anymore she began a “smear campaign” against me.
She started with my younger brother because she knew that he was easiest and most painful way to get to me. Let me backup by saying that when he was born I was eight years old and it was, without a doubt, the greatest day of my childhood. He immediately became the best part of my life. He was the reason I jumped out of bed everyday and why I raced home from school every afternoon. My love for him was more like a mother’s love than a sibling love. When she destroyed my relationship with him with her lies, it nearly destroyed me.
She was also telling my other two siblings what a selfish person I had become and how I had chosen my new husband over the whole family. She tried to prove this by never coming to visit us and telling everyone that she was never invited. Even though I had extended an open invitation and had invited her numerous times only to be turned down. However, she expected me to stop over their house all the time and of course, I did.
One year, almost to the day that we were married, Randy’s company transferred us to California. I was scared to death about leaving but, my biggest fear was telling my mother. There’s a lot to this story that I will tell in a future blog but, for right now, I just want to say that once we moved to California, her vicious lies and rumors about me just exploded.
She played the victim so well. She had everyone believing she was this poor, sweet mother whose horrible daughter up and left her. When I would fly back to visit I was treated so badly by everyone because of all the horrible lies she had told about me. It was devastating and tore me up inside but, I kept visiting because I just couldn’t give up on the dream that if I just kept trying I could make things right. But all I ended up doing was getting hurt and putting us in financial trouble with all the flying back and forth from CA to NY.
I do have to say that the few people that never believed her lies were, ironically, her side of the family. My grandmother (her mother), my uncle (her brother), my aunt, and my cousins never changed how they treated me. If anything, my relationship with my grandmother flourished without my mother’s meddling. We would write back and forth and I got to know her so well, it was such a blessing.
I tried so hard for so many years to show everyone that I was still the same person I had always been and that what had been said about me were just horrible lies. I finally came to the realization that the people that really love you won’t believe what is said about you, they will look into your heart to see who you are. I know that it’s easy for me to say now that I’m through the dark tunnel but, if I can hold the light at the end for just one person please allow me to do that for you.
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